Archive | January, 2012

十面埋伏

31 Jan

Well, this is a continuation to the blog entry of yesterday’s. And since I am now looping the song ‘十面埋伏’, my entry shall be titled as the song title too. Hopefully I would be able to blog peacefully without much inteference but I don’t think it is going to be quite possible. A tweet talk has now upgraded to a whatsapp group chat. >.< Anyways, I shall still try my best to be short and sweet as requested by expertism.

So I was talking about the mahjong session with Shawn, Sherry and her 2 friends (A & B). Went home after school that day and quickly ate and bathed so as to rush out again to meet them for our mj session. Okay and so I rushed down to CCK to meet them and they were late.

First up, friend A. Looks: don’t wish to comment. Cannot believe Sherry’s words because all her friends are good looking to her. Of course it’s a good thing to be protective of your friends but Cherry we are your friends too!! Be honest with us. Hahaha. Well, looks are still not the most important thing. So, we went over to Cherry’s house for our mj session. Was warned beforehand by Shawn about the nagginess and niam-ness of Friend A, especially if you were to snatch her flower. And oh my good, I was so so disturbed by her continuous taunts and rants about why I took her flower or why did I not feed her with better tiles. Hey, this is a game of mahjong. It’s your own game so why should I be obliged to let you win my money?? I seriously dislike girls or anybody who has no 牌品. You can be very skilful or very lucky and win all of my money if you can but please do not behave in that way. Once or twice I can take it kiddingly but anything more than that, it shows of your character. As the elders always say, one’s character can be seen thoroughly during a game of mahjong. I believe in that and I see it with my own eyes. Okay enough said of friend A. Not a good first impression.

Next up, friend B. To be honest I have to be. I will be more lenient in my comments for her as she was a very poor thing. Like literally. Took a cab down to Sherry’s house and still had to wait for almost an hour before she could lay her hands on the tiles. She then became my neighbour above during the first round of mj. A more soft spoken person as compared to friend A and I kinda guessed that she is a Cantonese as the game went by due to her little action. I observed that she would take a quick glance at my reaction whenever she played a tile. Well, my dad taught me this too so that’s the reason why I would think that she is a Cantonese and displays a Cantonese style of playing. Of course I have not played with too many outsiders apart from my family but it’s just a gut feeling. Anyways, in my own opinion, I think she is a better person than friend A I have to say, as even though she was being consistently bombarded by Shawn, she did not ‘fight back’ and even if she lost quite a bit, she did not display a black face. This is what I call 牌品.

Well, we played all the way through the night until around 5 plus in the morning I think. Overall, I won a bit but money is never the problem. I mean fun is more important to me of course and I did had fun playing with them. Went home around 6 plus and poor friend B had to cab back home with an empty wallet. Felt real bad at that time. Slept until around 10 and woke up to meet Shawn for a movie.

It was already Friday when we watched the movie ‘All well’s end well 2012’. Was a funnie movie and yes, although it was my 2nd viewing of the show, it was still funnie to me. Had a good laugh but still thought that it would be much better if it were in Cantonese as many locals here would not quite catch some jokes or gimmicks that the cast was trying to protray.

Thereafter, we went to the supermarket with Kian Tiong to get food for our steamboat dinner later on with the CPF gang. Bought the usual stuff and also as usual, we would never be able to gauge properly if we had got enough or we got too much food. After getting our food, we went home and it was still pretty early. And so we decided to play ‘Angry Birds’ playing cards which I bought in HK. It was fun to me. Preventing people from getting rid of the card and also causing them to lose their turn. Yeah, kind of like playing Uno cards but nevertheless it was a fun game. Soon after Audrey and Cheng Feng (expertism) came along and we started preparing the food for dinner. Indeed it looked like we had too much food to finish by the looks of it. Wow like meat, meat and more meat. We looked like beasts. (and I just realised that we did not take any photos!) And soon after we started, Eugene came along as well after his class. Had a very full dinner and surprise, surprise that we actually managed to finish all the food that we bought. Towards the end of dinner, we decided to go for a singing session after that and Shawn managed to book for a 11-1 session. Dinner was done at around 8 plus but singing session was at 11. What to do?? Blackjack!! Guess luck was really on my side for the past week as I won quite a few bucks after a few games. Therefore, we decided to play poker cards that do not involve money. After a long persuasion, expertism joined us for a while before we rushed off for our singing session.

The singing session was only for 2 hours and it was really too short for us although there were only 4 of us (Shawn, Audrey, Cheng Feng and me) left. After sending them home, cny is quite officially over for me. Not a brilliant one but enjoyable enough to be. Maybe it was due to the fact that we are all grown-ups now and do not really celebrate cny anymore. To me, cny is simply just an excuse to buy new clothes and to get myself fat with all the food, although again, I do not feast on them as much as I did when I was way younger. And so this spells the end of my cny part for my entry. Shall move on to other things.

 

Hello there.

30 Jan

This is weird. Am I so vocabulary-less or is it that I am always feeling like this?? Nothing serious but the title of this entry was originally ‘Another day in LIFE’ which coincidentally was the title of another of my earlier entries. Okay, just a weird coincidence. No big deal. Big deal is dead.

Well, today is kind of a tiring day. Had lessons from 830am all the way till 630pm. Almost died. Maybe I should really heed Daniel Tan’s advice and start sleeping earlier so as to study more in the day. This should be the hangover effects from the past week of cny though. Hopefully I would be able to adapt back to my normal lifestyle very soon again and start to mug like a dog.

Anyways, cny was kinda boring. First, of course due to the sudden happening of a particular event that kind of disrupted my cny mood on the very 1st day. Okay shall heed my good friend (expertism)’s advice and just feel free to blog about another that I want to. Well, indeed still trying hard to accept the cold hard fact that came in that day but nevertheless, I am trying. Thanks to cny too that I had the company of my family and friends or vice versa in my family’s case. Hahaha I felt more like a chauffeur all the time after getting my license. Well, maybe I should try blogging about cny for tonight and type more about how I feel in these days. Had a bit of thoughts again. I am a thinker!!

So day 1 of cny was an usual practice of going to a couple of temples to pray. After visiting a few different temples and reading up a couple of different fortune telling books, I do think that this would not be a very good year for me. All of them said that this would not be a good year for dragons!! Is it true?? I am not sure about this since the new year is only 1 week old. However, from what the descriptions of the year say, it seem kind of true. Shall not dwell into that too much. And oh yes, I promised myself not to believe or read too much into this anymore. Honestly, I do not normally believe them (be it the zodiac or horoscope thingy) but I just find them amazing that sometimes they seem to be accurate. I believe that fate is always in one’s hands. Okay, getting a bit far for day 1. So after the praying, my 3 cute sisters and I went for some movie-ing in the evening!! Great time spent with them. I really regret not spending enough time with them previously. Well though I must admit that I was too young and immature way back then to understand the importance of my family.

Day 2 was also the usual practice of the ‘open year meal’ for my family so I had to get up really early in the morning to drive my mummy to the market at Jurong East to get her roast meat stuff and to prepare all other necessary things before my 2 sisters and their hubby and son arrived. After a pretty sumptous meal at home, we moved over to my 3rd sister’s house to ‘rot’. Had a game of blackjack where I won $1.40 with bets of 10c, 20c. There after, we moved again to my eldest sister’s place for dinner. Superbly tired day it was that I dropped motionless once I reached home. Okay that was exaggerating but I was really tired that day.

Wednesday was normal or rather boring. It was just a normal day and I woke up in the afternoon!! Just rotted the day away doing pretty much nothing and lucky enough to realise the fact that I had school the following day.

Thursday was a much better day. Long it was again as lessons spanned the whole day long. However, I was energetic by the fact that I was going to have a game of mahjong at night with Shawn and Sherry and friend A and B.

Well, want to know more about friends A and B?? Stay tuned to tomorrow morning or afternoon as I am going to take a break now and continue tomorrow. My mind is not working already. Good night.

Words are just that simple.

24 Jan

In everyday life, each and everyone of us would have many many thoughts going through our minds and we would ponder about different stuff all the time. Today is a very special day. Why do I think it is a special day?? The reason being that I have many clear thoughts going through my mind. Very clear. I can foresee very much what would eventually happen at the end of this day. I can predict what will be said to me when this day comes to an end. More interestingly, I can see myself slowly transforming into a social hermit soon. Or maybe, to put on such a thick mask over my face that I would not even know who I am sooner or later.

I am so sick and tired of having to read into people’s minds and having to react according to what they wish or hope the way that I would. Like I have always mentioned on Twitter, the line of the year for me in 2012 will be, “Human beings are willing to do just anything to get what they want. Great.” To be honest, I want to end the sentence with the word ‘Fake’ instead. And again, to make things sound nicer and not to offend anybody unnecessarily, I beautified my sentence. Nobody owes me a loving. Similarly, I do not owe anybody a living. However, I am really really tired. Oh come on, do not try to beautify or comfort me with nice words because…well never mind. I guess I am very tired today. Really. I should not write an entry today because I know that I would end up sounding like some angsty bird trying to vent my frustrations about somebody. I should just stop here. Give myself an early night. Think through some stuff before penning a proper entry.

Anyway, I really think that great psychologists and psychiatrists must have gone through their fair share of mental problems, or else how could they understand their patients so well?? Maybe I should consider being one.

Oh and trust me. I do not bother my family or friends with my problems anymore. Thank you.

How about this??

23 Jan

Try this too:

我们很好(国语版)
作曲:邓智伟 填词:张美贤
编曲:Johnny Yim 监制:邓智伟
演唱:林峰

我还是记得 我们遇见的那一秒 那一种噗通的心跳 真的呢 愿望越来越多 而世界好像越来越吵 直到我们往前跑呀跑 幸福不见了

我真的错了 我不应该让你走了 我们本来可以很好 怎麼了 如果时间重来 让我再用心跟你拥抱 我说愿意 我真的可以 甚麼都不要

你躲在哪里 我找不到你 爱需要真心 需要勇气 天就要下雨 我快要哭泣 你还不相信 我是爱你

我还是记得 你一直看著我来了 我们本来可以很好 很快乐 思念越来越多 而我的说话越来越少 我还以为心里的感觉 你一定知道

你躲在哪里 我找不到你 爱碎成回忆 我对不起 天就要下雨 我快要哭泣 我问我自己 爱不爱你 爱你

Leo leo roar…

23 Jan

So I guess writing blog will be the only way that I can express whatever or however I feel about anything whatsoever, especially after tonight. Yeah, guess what? On the very first day of a new lunar year, I asked, well maybe not asked but I kinda expressed my affection to my ex. Excellent it might seemed that I finally garnered the courage to say it to her but of course it became a total loss to me.

Thinking that I would be able to take it easy and maybe say it out as a joke, I told her, ‘Life is never good without you.’ when she asked why was my first day of cny a good one. I meant it. 100% true. A reply ‘You gonna be kidding…I am attached’ pierced right through my heart. Right before my movie started just now. Sank straight in, shook me up but it left me lost right away as well.

I am serious. It took me a good few months to really garner up all the courage to even type in that line. All that bullshit talk about how courageous, how brave, how easy is it for a Leo to express his love. That’s all bull. Well, at least to me it is. Not that I am just being plain frustrated at the fact that she is attached but I am a Leo and yet I am so so so afraid of just even telling her how I feel because I am just not good enough to brave the consequences. Yes, indeed I feel very at ease now that I have told her but on the other hand, I do not know how to face her, how to talk to her anymore etc etc. Best was during the movie, that was this part about ‘You are the apple of my eye’ movie again. Like again?? Seriously?? Of course it was meant to be funnie and trust me, I laughed. However, deep inside my heart I know that I was actually crying. You know so many things have had happened to me that I am so able to separate how my heart and my brain think and I would just make sure that it is always my brain which is controlling and not my heart. And talk of crying. Was packing my room when I found a card that she had actually made for me during my army days. Mentioned about me crying and guess maybe she felt that I was not very manly back then. Led me to a sleepless night again thinking about the fact that yes I am not manly enough for her. Of course I would not know what is her current standard of the requirements that she is looking for in a guy to be her boyfriend but I guess at least he has to act in a manly manner.

Well, I kind of sidetracked a bit but nevertheless, I am really really feeling very dumb, very stupid now. Maybe I should have felt it already or sensed it coming. About?? About the fact that she is kind of trying to avoid me or at least keep a distance away from me. The fact that she is not eagerly returning my messages thought she appeared online. The fact that she is not very interested in meeting me for lunch etc. The fact about many things. I just refused to accept the fact that yeah again, she moved on. Much further on already while I am still standing here waiting.

I mentioned that I was watching a movie just now right?? The movie was ‘I love HK 2012′. Yeah, a movie that I would always watch every cny without fail. Again in the movie it was about the cliched stuff of HK people dreaming and fighting. In the end their dreams will always come true. Maybe I was born in HK too, that’s why I would behave the same way as in the movie. Yes, I have a dream too. I have many dreams. And yes, you are one of them. I really do not care about what people say or think. If you have a dream, you fight for it. In an earlier movie today, Donnie Yen mentioned about he being a failure in his character in the movie. He had a dream. He failed so many times. He was labelled a failure. He continued dreaming and continued failing. Many said that he was stubborn and stupid, and he knew that he was. He did not escape from his failure and of course eventually he succeeded as a singer in the movie.

How I wished that I were him.

I have a dream. This dream that I have been dreaming about for so many months after we broke up.

I tried to escape from it. I tried not to think about you. Then you came knocking on my door.

I thought that my dream could come true one day. I faced my dream today and I regretted.

Honestly, how much do I wished that you did not knock on my door that very afternoon. How much do I wished that just something happened to my phone that I could not receive your message that day. Yes, there again I am trying to hide. Yes, please give me a break. I admit that I am not the guy of your dreams. I cannot behave or act in a more manly way that I could just put it behind and let go. I did tried. I failed. I blamed myself.

I need a break. True that I have 2 choices. One, to continue on with my failure of a dream. Two, to just ask you to piss off from my face. All my dear friends who actually spent some time reading my blog would also know which option I would choose eventually.

However like I have said in my previous entry, I would continue to dream. To have you in my heart but I would try to distant myself away from you ’cause I guess this would be best for you. I do not want you to feel any pressure from me. I would rather miss and think about you quietly from a distance.

 

林峰&泳儿 – 明天以后(国)

曲/词:伍仲衡/冯颖琪

改编词:姜忆萱

http://www.yue365.com ★ 卜超 制作

泳: 在你的记忆里面有一个我 在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过 难过过了 天晴朗了 我就走

林: 你拯救我的寂寞 我的痛我的梦 在你的面前 我不必保留 还来不及对你说 迟到的我的心动

泳: 你的好 你的坏

林: 我的脾气你最懂

泳: 我不要你心疼我 (林: 我不要你离开我)

合: 明天的以后我们会懂 失恋的挫折让人变更成熟

泳: 我对你 感觉胜过爱情

林: 因为有你 给我勇气给我用不完的运气

林: 其实也想好好爱你

泳: 只怕到最后不小心 让你伤心 (林: 我不怕会伤心)

合: 对不起 我对你 再好再亲密都不能在一起

林: 最后看你在别人怀里

泳: 有天我会找到我的唯一(林: 我并不是你的唯一)

合: 还微笑祝福你

林: 你拯救我的寂寞 我的痛我的梦 在你的面前 我不必保留

泳: 我从来没对你说 压抑的 我的心动

林: 我的好 我的坏 我的脾气你最懂

泳: 我不要你来心疼我

合: 明天的以后我们会懂 失恋的挫折让人变更成熟

泳: 我对你 感觉胜过爱情

林: 因为有你 给我勇气给我用不完的运气

林: 其实也想好好爱你

泳: 只怕到最后不小心 让你伤心 (林: 我不怕会伤心)

合: 对不起 我对你 再好再亲密都不能在一起

林: 最后看你在别人怀里

泳: 有天我会找到我的唯一(林: 我并不是你的唯一)

合: 还微笑祝福你

泳: 爱情总让人折磨

林: 所以我们才选择

合: 做比情人更好的朋友

泳: 我对你 感觉胜过爱情

林: 因为有你 给我勇气给我用不完的运气

林: 其实也想好好爱你

泳:只怕到最后不小心 让你伤心 (林: 我不怕会伤心)

合: 对不起 我对你 再好再亲密都不能在一起

林: 最后看你在别人怀里

泳: 有天我会找到我的唯一(林: 我并不是你的唯一)

合: 还微笑祝福你

 

I have wanted to share this song with you long ago. Rather I want to share with you the cantonese version of this song ’cause the lyrics are already of a different meaning but of course you do not understand cantonese. So if you actually bother to read this. This is what I actually wanted to tell you. Maybe I should post the cantonese version here too.

 

泳: 曾流行情歌虽则都继续播 可惜今天无缘一起高歌一趟 唱 没结果 再合唱亦没结果

林: 明明以前是我傻 求求你姑息我 填词人替我写出的痛楚 期望你开口唱吧 合唱歌那可得我

泳: 当初你抛开我 (林:我独唱一次“认错”)

泳: 你为何麻木地高歌(林:唱下去不理为何)

合: 消失的激情还要热播 谁人仍然是你记住的一个

泳: 失去的恋爱难以勉强

林: 开一句声 听着情歌总能满足一秒遐想

林: 日后留恋你的声线

泳: 恐怕未放下 明日更不堪设想(林:而我不堪设想)

合: 一千句 亲爱的 恐怕时间到了无缘又遇上

林: 我亦无办法得到见谅

泳: 忘掉我声音以后别惆怅(林:沉默一刻我在惆怅)

合: 始终无法合唱

林: 祈求回头亦太难 如何唱多一晚 无人饶恕我比悲歌更惨

泳: 其实你分手以后 这一天已心淡

林: 当初你 抛开我 我独唱一次“认错”

泳: 你为何麻木地高歌

合: 消失的激情还要热播 谁人仍然是你记住的一个

泳: 失去的恋爱难以勉强

林: 开一句声 听着情歌总能满足一秒遐想

林: 日后留恋你的声线

泳: 恐怕未放下 明日更不堪设想(林:而我不堪设想)

合: 一千句 亲爱的 恐怕时间到了无缘又遇上

林: 我亦无办法得到见谅

泳: 忘掉我声音以后别惆怅(林:沉默一刻我在惆怅)

合: 始终无法合唱

泳: 你要试着放低我

林: 我怕我以后还是唱没结果(泳:已是结果)

合: 以后得一个…

泳: 失去的恋爱难以勉强

林: 开一句声 听着情歌总能满足一秒遐想

林: 日后留恋你的声线

泳: 恐怕未放下 明日更不堪设想(林:而我不堪设想)

合: 一千句 亲爱的 恐怕时间到了无缘又遇上

林: 我亦无办法得到见谅

泳: 忘掉我声音以后别惆怅(林:沉默一刻我在惆怅)

合: 始终无法合唱

 

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20 Jan

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