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Boring Sunday.

17 Jun

Happie Father’s Day to all dads around the world!! Yay!! No, this is just another boring Sunday at home for me. Well, at least in the afternoon right now while I am ending this barren run of my blog account. Even though my family would be heading out for dinner to ‘celebrate’ Father’s Day with my dad, I honestly do not think that it would be a fantastic evening out later. Many would suggest saying that ‘if you have already set out the mood for the event before it were to happen, of course it would turn out to be that case as expected.’ Well, this all comes from years of experience in the family so I can rightfully predict what is going to happen. Anyway, this is not the main topic that I would like to talk about today.

(side-note to self: It has been a long time since I have last compose proper sentences and I think I suck in that now while I am looking at the structure of my above paragraph.)

While saying that was not the main topic of my post, I do not really have a main, like MAIN topic to talk about today. One of the reasons might be because I have too much to talk about and I have not been really talking about these things to anybody these days. Having been staying at home pretty much of the time, not eagerly/hoping to look for a job and being plain lazy just kill my desire to step out of my house to look for my friends these days. Another reason maybe due to the fact that I do not wish to step out of my little cozy world here at home in order to escape from facing the brutality of the outside world. Day by day, bit by bit, I am feeling more unfamiliar with the real world. The surroundings are getting so undesirable, so unbearable for me. People around me are also getting a little too fake for me to be true to them or for me to even want to face them at all. All these little things that I feel these days led me to rather stay at home where I could live in my own ‘Utopia state’. This is where I feel the most comfortable in. And let me be honest with myself too. I hate to stay at home. I want to go out and see the world but it is really too much for me to face outside. Each and every single time I chose to go out and meet my friends for lunch or something, I would come home feeling hurt and affected. On the other hand, one reason why I do not like to meet my friends nowadays is because I do not want to bore them with my ‘argh, not again’ persistent issues. My friends do not deserve to be affected by my emotional state. They deserve to be happie if they were to meet me. All in all, I would really rather sluggishly stay home and catch some stupid idol dramas. Some of my friends would comment that, ‘Oh please, the ending is always so typical. Why do you still wanna watch it?’ Well, of course I know that the ending would always be similar for all idol dramas but the reason why I would like to watch them is due to the fact that only in these dramas where I can have that slightest feeling of a happie ending for everybody at the end of the day.

Before I end my post, I would like to share about something that I have recently been enlightened to understand. As many of my closer friends would know, I am always interested in the body language of people and also to understand human beings’ behaviour. I am always trying very hard to learn more by understanding the meaning and motive of people from their little actions and of course, their body language. I realise that it is seriously a tough call to make most of the time from people’s actions, especially if you do not actually know them personally beforehand. I am not too sure if I actually got this right but from what I know, ain’t we supposed to be able to understand what a person is thinking by their actions alone even if we do not know them beforehand?? If this is so, wow, trust me, body language is really an extremely tough skill to grasp because what they do might not be what they are really thinking. And happenings to me in recent times have really enticed me not to even dare to attempt to do anything anymore ever again because the consequences are always dire and not what I was expecting. That is very taunting and scary. Maybe I am really getting older and not as daring as before like I have mentioned time and again to my friends.

Yes?? No?? Maybe??

No is always the answer I would get from friends. However, yes is always the answer I would get from my targetted party.

Love

17 Mar

This entry is kinda dedicated to the drama that I have been watching recently because it has really changed my perception of many things in life. I believe that many of my friends on Twitter would know what drama I am referring to and after tonight, most of my Facebook friends would too. And this drama is none other than <<On Call 36 小時>>. As a loyal follower of TVB dramas, I knew beforehand that this would be a drama to look forward to but I did not expect it to be so enlightening and addictive per se. It does have a good cast but it is a great show because of the contents, the acting and the meaning that it is trying to bring across to its viewers. As you journey through the life of the doctors (the housemen and the main leads) in the show, you will be able to feel how it is like to be a doctor. Without a doubt, everyone knows that being a doctor is an extremely daunting profession but as I watched the show, I understand that the fearful part of being a doctor is not about the amount of IQ that one has to have to read medicine as his/her major but it is about how one can be a good doctor. One who could save, give and engage the lives of people. Not just their patients but also their loved ones. Being a doctor is not just plainly about prolonging the patient’s life but to give the best treatment to him/her. For example, there is this patient in the show whereby he is middle-aged and diagnosed with cancer at the terminal stage. Operating on him would give him an extra 6 months of life but the risk of this operation is extremely high and that the patient does not want to go through anymore pain. However, if the patient does not go under the knife, he would be left with only 1 month to live. As a doctor, what should you do?? Of course, as a viewer, I am in no position to comment on this highly professional matter but what I am trying to bring across is, this show is really addictive and enlightening as it brings up numerous topics pertaining to love and life.

As episodes went by, the female lead is diagnosed with intramedullary tumor (it is basically a tumor in the spinal cord and an operation might not even be able to successfully remove the whole tumor. A failure in the operation would lead to the patient being paralyzed). Typical shows would have the male and female leads falling in love with each other and of course this drama is no other than any typical TVB drama. From how the female lead managed to move the male lead with her ‘a-card-per-day’, to the male lead eventually falls for her as well, to the female lead is diagnosed with the illness and thus left him. All these are your typical everyday drama plot details. However, what touches me is how the male lead managed to assure her that he is willing to accompany her no matter what would happen to her after the operation.

During the last episodes, one of the couples in the show were getting married and during their wedding, the male lead saw how touched the female lead was when the marriage vows were being read. He finally took up the courage to pull the female lead up on stage and proposed to her again, reading the marriage vow to her in front of all their friends and family members. This is the marriage vow in Chinese –> 無論富季貧困,快樂悲傷,健康疾病 都願意一生一世愛護你,守護­你,終生不諭.

Well, not many people have actually really paid much attention to these few short sentences whenever they were to attend a wedding or even the couple which was getting married. And this was what the male lead told her –> 你還猶豫什麼?擔心我會後悔?擔心我是一時衝動?擔心我要一輩子照顧你? 其實結婚既誓詞,如果只係循例咁讀出嚟,係無意義,一定要實行落去。 後生個陣,又靚又健康,當然”愛”啦,但係,當對方年紀漸漸大­,又老又有皺紋,越來越多病痛,什至乎睇住對方老死…唔通咁就唔­愛咩?既然將來,唔會離棄對方,宜家都應該一樣。 如果因為對方有病就唔愛嘅,就唔係真正嘅愛。無人知道生命既長短,就算我地做醫生既,都唔可以保證自己長命百­歲。 所以結婚誓詞裡面無話到”百頭到老” 但係就要保證,無論健康疾­病,都要係埋一齊。 你明唔明呀? And this is so true.

To be together with somebody is never hard. You would be able to spend loads of happie times together, doing many happie things together etc. However, would you be able to spend the rest of your life with somebody if he/she is no longer able to give you happiness, for example he/she is paralyzed and is no longer able to go places with you with ease??

This is life. Life is full of love. Without love, I am pretty sure one would not be able to live his/her life happily. This is because love gives us the energy, the motivation, the encouragement for each and everything that we do. Nobody is able to predict how long one would live. Yes, it is true that as technology improves, we are all expected to live a much longer life but without love, is it still meaningful to live for 100 years?? Love is not just about a couple, it is also about loving your family, your friends and of course loving of one self. If you do not even love yourself, do you think you are even worthy of somebody else’s love?? Even with an expectedly longer lifespan, nobody is able to accurately tell you when you are going to end your life. NOT a doctor, NOT a fortune teller. NOBODY. We will never be able to know what would happen the very next day. You might say that, ” Oh, I know that I would wake up and have breakfast.” What you might not know is that maybe you might wake up in the morning, go to the toilet to wash up yourself but to slip and fall?? That might possibly be the end of one’s life. How about you might munch on some cereal that is unknowingly poisonous during its production. That might also be the end of one’s life. And seriously, do you even know if you were to wake up the very next morning??

Many people live their lives not knowing what they are even after or what they would like to achieve in life. That is very common. Many of us would have the chance to come across things or people that are dear to us but we did not know how to cherish or treasure them until they are gone for good. That is very common.

In the show, one of the doctors told the female lead, when he knew that she was diagnosed with the illness, ” 健康的人不一定快乐,但有病的人也不一定不快乐啊. ” Most importantly, we should fully understand that each and everyone of us is extremely fortunate to be given a chance to come to this world, to live a meaningful life. Putting aside all the religious views, this is our one and only chance to live. Why don’t we live it to the fullest??

For those, including myself, I hope that we would be able to learn how to treasure what we have, especially the ones who are closed to us. Our family members. Sometimes, we might feel that they are troublesome and annoying and stuff like that. When one day they were to be gone forever, we might feel sorry for not spending more time with them, understanding them more. It is a definite fact that each and every one of us is different and born with a different character. Try talking to them for just 5-10 minutes everyday and this would really do wonders to the relationship. I believe that communication is very important in all relationships. Nobody would be able to understand one another by guessing and thinking. I am trying my best too to do so, spending a little more time talking to my mummy everyday and also a little more time with my family. I am very sure I will not live to regret doing so and I would be able to understand my family a little more everyday. And for those who are in a relationship, I hope that you would be able to understand and give in to each other a little more everyday. When he/she is gone, there is really no point crying and mauling over it because you did not treasure it when you were having it. Been there, done that. Am still learning but this show definitely enlightened me pretty much. To find somebody who is willing to walk the path with you is never easy. It is never easy. And lastly, before I forget. There was also this scene whereby the male lead finally proposed to the female lead after the operation in a proper manner. He said, ” 我爱你这三个字我可以跟你说无数次,但‘我愿意’这三个字我想听你说一次. ” I love this part too because I also come to realise that it is never hard to say the 3 words ‘I love you’ but to have somebody to be willing to say ‘I do’ and to mean it together with the marriage vow. I believe it is never easy too.

Treasure. Cherish. These words are easily said but how many can really put them into action?? Hope you will be the next one.

Random post to vent anger.

7 Mar

Okay, this is going to be an ultra short post because I am really pissed off by something. Just finished watching episode 16 of a currently airing HK drama about doctors and I decided to check out on the ratings for the drama as it’s pretty nice in my opinion. Ratings are pretty good, averaging 30 points thus far. Well, this is not what pissed me off of course.

After checking out on the ratings, I turned on my funshion to see whether there are any new movies available and saw something that angered me. They are promoting the medical drama that I am watching and yet again they are ‘selling’ it as a drama that is a ‘copycat’ of what was broadcasted in another country. I am seriously sick and tired of all these people who are always commenting that HK dramas are just a photocopy of their country’s serials. Come on, the setting of the drama and stuff might be similar but oh please, you can produce your own drama, why can’t we? It is not as though you people are the first to produce dramas regarding doctors? Moreover, you are not the first to ‘invent’ the term ‘doctors’. I respect whatever you produced so please respect others too. If your country’s dramas received good ratings, I congratulate you. But I really think that it’s disrecpectful to comment that ours’ is a photocopy. Thank you.

Short entry about today.

2 Mar

Before I start: I know that I promised to blog about my Vday’s meetup with the 3 pretty ladies but I did not. I am sorry. I was actually halfway through it but it was way too long for me to continue. However, the meetup will always be in my heart!! Do not worry!!

And so I met my 2 secondary school besties (Edwin and Albert) today for dinner. Had Botak Jones for dinner. Honestly speaking, the dinner was not fantastic but partly it might be due to the fact that I was half full with my Starbucks before that and that I am trying my best to slim down.

Anyway, the food was not important as we started to catch up with one another’s life for the past few months. Although we do not meet frequently as we are, or rather they are, exceptionally busy with their school work, I believe the bond is always there and shall never be broken. Definitely pleased that they shared some problems with me as I am always hoping to be able to lend a listening ear to them and to provide some opinions in one way or another. Bad at trying to bring across my point here but I believe they would understand what I am trying to say.

After listening to what they had to share and also sharing some thoughts with them, I started to think and reflect about the one and single problem that is always hogging on my mind. I also came to discover something new about this. A year and half roughly has passed and I would say I have move on with my life without you. I am truly able to live everyday without you here by my side. I no longer dwell on why we could not have continued previously but instead I would always keep the good times we had in my head. You would always have your special place in my heart. True to the fact that I am able to pass my daily life without you, I still believe that life would be so much better with you around with me. If given a choice, I would still choose you over anybody else.

Again, maybe people who read this entry would not understand what I am trying to say as it seems a bit confusing. I am trying to sort out the words and stuff to describe my feelings now. One thing is for sure though, I have moved on and will no longer sulk about the past.

Shawn

15 Feb

About Shawn. 2000 words. Done.

Hi, my friend.

15 Feb

Everybody is born in a different way with an unique character. Nobody is perfect and no one can fully understand another person. I always try to put in an effort to understand each and every of my friends ’cause I care and they all mean something to me. Something very important. Well though, that’s not exactly the case for this particular friend of mine whom I have been contacting pretty much recently. It is a she and I am definitely not trying to chase after her. I just treat her as a friend of mine who has pretty much alike favourites as me. A nice friend to talk to definitely and I like her being very 大喇喇, very herself. I like this as a friend ’cause she is always being true and not acting like a hypocrite in front of me. Very honest and true person. However, I really have some problems trying to understand her. On one hand, I like her being very 大喇喇 and straight forward, on the other, I feel that she is pretty fierce and has a real short fuse. Well, I do not judge people from what they say and I hear. I receive feedbacks from her friends that she gets angry very easily. However, I always like to understand and judge ‘the book and its contents’ using my own eyes.

So, recently, I met her for lunch after a haircut. Ever since, we had been apps-ing pretty often and I started to understand her more than before. Cautiously, I would always try to draw a very clear line at first due to the feedbacks about her being a bit sensitive and with a short fuse. As we talked more often, I realised that she is a nice to talk to person and can be a fun loving girl too. As such, I started to crack some lame jokes and talked crap with her. She would very frequently talked about her Ka Wing (郑嘉颖) and I would act shy that she is talking about me but I would also spend much time trying to convince her that our names are different actually though I am called Ka Wing too but my Chinese name is 家荣 instead.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Our friend, Kian Tiong, posted a picture of a Stitch flower boutique, which is obviously made up of many Stitch plush toys as the flowers. I love it, it’s so cute and obviously as a Stitch fan like me, she likes it too. And she went on to comment that if I could look for it and get it for her, she is willing to be my 江若琳. Obviously, I am not looking for that but I went on to find whether the boutique is really for sale. I would not say that it’s really hard to find but I did spent an effort to look for it. Thus, I decided that I should get it for her for her birthday which is coming up next month. And trust me, it does really require some effort to even make an order for it. Reason for getting it for her: Like I mentioned earlier, not to chase her but it’s really hard to find somebody who has the same favourite cartoon character as me. That is why I really do not mind getting it for her as I think I would be happie to see her smiling when she receives the boutique.

After I found out where I could get the boutique, I told her about it. She asked me where I found it and how much is it. Obviously I would not reveal as I was planning to send her as a surprise birthday gift. I did told her that if I managed to solve the problem of ordering then she would be receiving one from me. She mentioned that she was not really looking for me to buy it for her. I know and understand that she meant it. I also know that she has the financial means definitely to buy it for herself. Hello, I am not trying to impress/beg/INSULT you in any way by wanting to get it for you right?? Please do not misunderstand my intentions if you do not know them. I also recognised that I should not have brought it up so often throughout the day, especially when I had the intention of surprising you with it for your birthday. On that part itself, it was my bad. I recognised it. However, I am not happie with the fact that you shared this with your di and mei, especially the my apology for you. I think that it’s a matter between just the two of us and I do not appreciate that you shared it with somebody else, especially somebody whom I know as well. In turn, I received a lecture on magicians not using the same trick throughout the whole show. First up, I am not a magician or a clown. I do not do things to amuse people nor do I need the person to appreciate what I do. Secondly, I always use the same, old 梗 with my other friends for even up to a month. They might not laugh at it but they do not get angry. I simply think that your views are biased. Lastly, I do not need a lecture on how I should act and behave. I should do and act the way that I want to, and please do not think that I know her that well that I know when she meant it or when she does not. I am not as close as you with her. I believe that I have said worse things than what happened yesterday and yet she did not get angry back then.

Overall, I think that it’s purely a misunderstanding between the two of us. Things are not as serious as sounded by her in Twitter. It’s too serious the way that she had put it across. To me, it’s just a joke that I have overused unknowingly. That’s all. It should just end there and that’s it. You are still a very nice friend of mine whom I can spend time talking to and you are a helpful friend who is willing to help my friend to book a chalet for her 21st birthday. Everybody has their flaws. Nobody is perfect. We just misunderstood each other but things end here. Thank you.

Irritating day.

10 Feb

A good day turned bad just by the snap of fingers.

Today was supposed to be a pretty good day for a boring person like me but a small little incident just turned it bad totally for me. And I am under constant fire now. And oh my god, my mother is not working tomorrow. Which means to say that I would not be able to get my beauty sleep tomorrow. Oh dear.

Managing to wake up early in the morning on 3 hours of sleep, I went for my Econometrics class at 830. Was boring as usual and Kelvin triggered me to check on my Weibo account for any new updates by the celebrities whom I have been following. While browsing through the updates, I came to realise that 江若琳’s new movie has just been released the day before and immediately I started to ‘jio’ people to watch with me. Without any doubt, I knew beforehand that the movie was gonna be pretty predictable, boring and without much substance. However, I would still insist to watch it as 江若琳 is the female lead in it. Oh my god. She is just so cute. And so a very nice person in the mould of Kelvin agreed to catch it with me after he checked that we could get the tickets at student price and on the condition that we would watch it at NEX. Well, for 江若琳, anything goes. Even Tampines would be like next door for me.

With an excited heart, we drove to NEX after class and had BK for lunch. To be honest, I pretty much like to talk to Kelvin. Sometimes seeerious, and yet at times very lame and funnie. He never fails to make me smile. A nice person indeed, just a tad too insistent at times though. Anyways, after lunch, we walked a bit since there was still time to burn (shows how fast I always drive!!). Went to Starbucks in a bid to get the Valentine’s Day collectible tumbler but sadly, it was already out of stock pretty much long ago according to the staff. Should not had been lazy all this while and not visit any outlet earlier to get it. And soon it was time for movie.

In the cinema, true to the fact that the seats are very much comfy to sit and lean on, and we were chattering away again while waiting for the trailers to start. In came more people and they were mainly the student and the older crowd. We kinda looked weird in there. Something that caught our eyes was this row of students who actually chose to sit with an uncle in between them. For example, the row has 5 seats, numbered 1-5. There were 4 of them and they sat in the seats numbered 1, 3-5 while the uncle, who we were sure they do not know, sat in the 2nd seat. Weird? There were available and empty rows behind them. And now time for the movie!

Oh my god!!! 江若琳 is just so cute!!! That’s all that I can say when she first came onto the screen. I was bugging Kelvin throughout the movie about how cute she was and I was acting like some crazy fan over her. Reaction from Kelvin: nonchalent as usual but I think he finds her cute too to be honest. Big eyes, cutie pie face, small girl’s voice. What more?? Are you trying to kid with me?? Of course there is more. She is definitely much more mature now as comapared to a few years ago when she first acted in the Laughing Gor drama. You can see that she is now a lady as compared to the little girl back then if you actually follow her news and progress through the years. Conclusion?? She is just the dream girl for every guy definitely. Oh my god. Cute max yet hot at the same time. Who can beat that?? Nobody. Cannot describe more as to how happie I was before, during and after the movie. It was definitely worth the trip down to NEX for her be it I was deadbeat.

Fast forward to half an hour ago. Oh my god. The pure thoughts and blogging of her just removed any grumpiness in me totally, like totally. So, I am a happie man now. I shall forgive and forget. Just want to comment that PLEASE DO NOT EVER EVER ASK ME TO DRIVE YOU AROUND IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE SO GOOD AND THAT I CANNOT USE THE CAR WHEN IT IS JUST ROTTING ITS VALUE AWAY!!!!

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HOLD ME BY THE THROAT USING THIS SAME OLD THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, I AM NO LONGER A 3 YEAR OLD BOY.

Thank you.